M and I went to the gym, an hour’s drive from my parents’ house, today and I lifted weights for the first time in approximately four months. On the way home, I bragged about how I hadn’t lost much strength during this time of rapid calorie consumption.
A few hours later, I noticed that my forearms and elbows were weak, and that my pinky fingertips were a little numb. Thanks to WebMD, I diagnosed myself with lupus, diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis, and proceeded to relay all of this to M.
My husband, bless his heart, gently reminded me that I had lifted more weight in the past day than I had in literal months, and my muscles were fatigued, and kissed me on the forehead before leaving to pour himself a drink.
Considering how frequently this happens, I’m honestly surprised that most of his responses don’t end with him saying “…dumbass.”
It’s my fourth day on keto, and I hate everything.
I hate cheese. I hate eggs. I hate red meat. I hate cream. I hate bacon. I hate the puny number of net carbs I can eat. I am this close to grabbing an apple out of my coworker’s hand.
Last night, my husband found me gazing lovingly at a shiny, plump Red Delicious apple on our counter. It called to me, just begging to be sliced and eaten with a scoop of peanut butter. And did I eat it? NO. Am I angry about this? YES.
IT’S AN APPLE. IT’S FROM A TREE. IT HAS TO BE HEALTHIER THAN NOT EATING AN APPLE. I DON’T WANT CANDY OR COOKIES OR DONUTS, I WANT A DAMN APPLE.
That’s all I’ve got. I’m angry and hungry and I want a damn piece of fruit and yes I KNOW I’m choosing to try this and I should just stop whining but I really need to lose weight and keto is amazing for so many people but I just want a damn apple from a damn tree like God intended.